And what, exactly, is our government doing about Gorilla Grodd?

The real news from last night's State of the Union address isn't that Bush was completely full of shit; who doesn't expect that anymore?

Nor was it that if you played the State of the Union Drinking Game that you would have consumed over 110 shots*, enough to kill an entire football team. Anyone who can sit through an hour-long speech by that clown has a cast-iron stomach anyway.

No, the real news was this:

A hopeful society has institutions of science and medicine that do not cut ethical corners, and that recognize the matchless value of every life. Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research -- human cloning in all its forms -- creating or implanting embryos for experiments, creating human-animal hybrids and buying, selling, or patenting human embryos.

So, apparently, not content to keep us in perpetual fear of Osama bin-Laden, the Bush team now wants us to worry about attacks from Dr. Moreau and the High Evolutionary, and money that would normally be spent protecting us from al-Q'aeda will now go to an elite anti-werewolf battalion.

*: A breakdown:


"terror": 21
"freedom": 17
"Iraq": 17
"democracy": 7
"Iran": 6
"tax relief": 5
"al-Q'aeda": 4
"border security": 4
"elections": 4
"nuclear": 4
"God" or variant thereof: 3
"tax burden": 3
"bipartisan": 2
"corruption" (in the context of foreign countries): 2
"education": 2
"evil": 2
"Medicare": 2
"New Orleans": 2
"Osama bin-Laden": 2
"sacrifice" (military): 2
"troops": 2
"environment": 1
"illegal immigration": 1
"homeland": 1
"the state of the union is strong": 1
"Ariel Sharon": 0
"corruption" (in the context of the United States): 0
"ethics": 0
"fiscal discipline": 0
"Jack Abramoff": 0
"Mahmoud Ahmadinejad": 0
"sacrifice" (civilian): 0
"Saddam Hussein": 0
"scandal": 0

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