2. Distraction of possible war in Iran fails to capture the imagination of public at large despite hard upselling by pundit class.
3. Marine Corps accused in massacre of unarmed civilians, including women, children, and the elderly, in Haditha; 'support the troops no matter what' mentality takes a hit.
4. Poll numbers for President Bush continue at record low.
5. But wait! Hey, remember Zarqawi? No? Well, he's Oddjob to bin-Laden's Goldfinger, or something like that! And guess what? We killed him! The war is almost won!
6. Plus, look! The president 'secretly' visited Iraq to boost everyone's confidence, and say "al-Brauni, you're doing a heck of a job" to the dipshits we picked to run the country! He didn't even wear body armor for the helicopter flight, because he is a
7. And by a crazy coincidence, just one day after meeting with our manly tough guy president, Iraqi PM Nuri al-Maliki launched a violent government crackdown (called 'Operation Forward Together' HA HA HA) in Baghdad! A violent government crackdown which is sure to lead to peace, freedom, and progress, just like violent government crackdowns always do everywhere!
8. So what happened? I'll tell you what happened: President Manley T. Guy's poll numbers are up, up, up! Now, almost half of America thinks that the war in Iraq isn't completely unwinnable!
Oh, it's all too depressing. Here, watch this video of David Horowitz making a David Horowitz out of himself instead.