Because, okay, here's what I'm saying

WASHINGTON - Undaunted by the difficult war in Iraq, President Bush reaffirmed his strike-first policy against terrorists and enemy nations on Thursday and said Iran may pose the biggest challenge for America.

In a 49-page national security report, the president said diplomacy is the U.S. preference in halting the spread of nuclear and other heinous weapons.

"If necessary, however, under long-standing principles of self defense, we do not rule out the use of force before attacks occur — even if uncertainty remains as to the time and place of the enemy's attack," Bush wrote.

Today's assignment: rephrase this asinine statement so that it retains the same content, but is less cloaked in self-serving bullshit. Example:

"If necessary, however, tradition dictates that I am allowed to defend myself by stabbing you in the eye with an ice pick, even if you have not attacked me and I don't know when or where you might do so in theory."


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