Let's take, for example, the case of the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler. Named for some variety of "white dog", this is an animal who revels in its own rabidity; but its most distinctive characteristic, which it shares with so many other right-winged birds, is its flabby, impotent passion for phony tough talk.
"Filed under: Verbal Bitch Slaps", says the liberal-chewing Chihuahua, congratulating himself because he knows no one else will do it. The internet is not usually thought of as a verbal medium, but why pick nits off a dog's fur when it's only going to bite you for your troubles?
The post is meant to be a rebuke to the idea that gun control will prevent gun violence, but it degenerates after the very first sentence into basement-borne RPG*-enthusiast machospeak:
Here’s something I’d like to tell you, even though it’ll probably make you wet your rubber sheets: If I were insane enough to want to kill you, I wouldn’t need a gun
MOMMY! THE INTERNET MAN IS SCARING ME! HE SAID HE COULD KILL ME WITH A SPORK AND A SUGAR PACKET BECAUSE OF HIS MAIL ORDER NINJA TRAINING
(even though I know for a fact, from personal experience, that I could get one no matter how many idiotic “gun control laws” you choose to enact)
He learned magic firearms acquisition skills in the same Marine Corps correspondence course where he learned to kill people using only his right thumb and a high-speed internet router.
I’m perfectly capable of murdering you with anything down to and including my own hands. It’s not all that hard, really, I can assure you of that.
Spoken like an actual murderer! Or a anonymous shitbag who reads too many Mack Bolan paperbacks.
The thing is, without gun control I don’t know if you have a gun to stop me from doing so. What that means is that everything I’ve ever learned about killing people can be canceled out by an 83-year-old grandma with a pistol. All she has to do is to point and pull the trigger, and everything I know about killing her, which is quite a lot, will be useless because I’ll be dead, and it doesn’t take much training and even less physical strength for her to do that.
Attitudes like this (it requires no training or strength to shoot a gun!) totally have nothing to do with the vast numbers of "accidental" gun deaths we have in America, but I do like how this sick puppy managed to work in yet another reference to how much he knows about killing people. He can't be bothered to follow through his own premises -- why would a psychotic murderer who can kill people in hundreds of ways be steered away from a victim just on the off chance that they might have a gun? -- but my guess is that he's actually 15 years old, so I'm probably holding him to far too high a standard.
Then again, that's, like 83 in dog years...