3.13.2007

Neither was Jesus' General

Dennis "My Son Has a Black Jesus-Worshiping Friend" Prager, America's foremost Jewish authority on what Jesus believes, disagrees with actual Jesus-worshiper John Edwards on whether or not Jesus was a leftist. No way, says Den-den.

This is based largely on one of His most famous statements: "Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."

The flaw in interpreting such statements as policy statements on how a nation should behave is that Jesus was speaking about the life of the individual -- the micro -- not about nations and the macro.


Well, that's true, insofar as Jesus rarely gave any advice about the life of nations. Jesus, being a utopian anarchist, gave less than a shit about what nations did, and probably wouldn't have suggested, as Dennis claims leftists would later in the article, that after Pearl Harbor, Americans offer up another American city to bomb. In fact, Jesus might very well have had something to say about the tragedy of all the lost life, or the necessity of getting one's soul right with God. The pussy.

Dennis doesn't address other, more flagrant examples of Jesus' lefty teachings, like, oh, say, Matthew 25:31-46, or Matthew 19:16-30, or Matthew 5:9-12 and , or Matthew 7:1-2, or John 2:13-17, or Luke 14:7-14. But hey, that Matthew guy was a known liberal infiltrator, and John and Luke were probably just quoted out of context by some latte-sipping reporter.

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