How liberals are today

Like most liberals, I take my cues on how to act from my dark master, Satan.

Ha ha, no! I'm kidding. Really, I take my cues on how to act by the people who are watching me the closest. Just as a wild chimp in the savage jungles doesn't know he's eating a banana until Jane Goodall shows him the notes she made saying so, no good liberal knows what is behind his bizarre, hateful, anti-human behavior until someone at Town Hall explains it. So we periodically check in with the Clown Royal Family, in order to know how we are. Let's see!

- Mark Alexander: liberals like Al Gore even though he is a communist.
- John Kline: liberals want to destroy democracy with their so-called 'unions'.*
- Thomas Sowell: liberals are living in a crazy fantasy world where Clarence Thomas is dumb.
- Janice Shaw Crouch: liberals have created a poisonous culture that makes celebrities shave their own heads.
- David Limbaugh: liberals are gutless, terror-aiding traitors but they won't let us say so.
- Phyllis Schlafly: liberals are trying to get us to pass a wasteful law to prevent violence against women, which is totally unnecessary because American women are protected by the Virgin Mary.
- Douglas MacKinnon: liberals have doomed our country by threatening any politician who dares speak out against Islamofascism.
- Dennis Prager: liberals might sometimes be Jewish, but they're not Jewish enough.