2.08.2007

Inside the Goldberg days of missing you

I.

Earlier today, we noted that corner boy Jonah Goldberg, the author of a book in which liberals are compared to Hitler right on the front cover, scolded left-wing bloggers for their tasteless incivility. Matthew Yglesias reminds us that today is the perfect day for pondering how completely full of shit this Star Trek nerd gone wrong really is.

II.

Glenn Beck recently opined that "I don`t have a lot of African-American friends, and I think part of it is because I`m afraid that I would be in an open conversation, and I would say something that somebody would take wrong, and then it would be a nightmare." I know exactly what he means; I'm terrified to open my mouth around the coloreds who mow my lawn and hand me my Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger, because I might say something totally innocent that they would take out of context. Like, I dunno, I might sit down with one of them and say "Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies", or I might say that I hated them and thought they were a bunch of attention-hungry scumbags for surviving a natural disaster. Anyway, Glenn might want to take the issue up with Dennis Prager, who knows a thing or two about befriending Negroes.

III.

Speaking of those touchy, touchy Negroes, the Medfly would like them to stop complaining and cheer up -- look at all they have accomplished, after all, in the fields of sports and entertainment! The Medfly urges optimism, saying that blacks may well sweep the Oscars this year and this will be widely celebrated and not at all the source of another Ann Coulter column about tokenism; in fact, he suggests that being a mopey-puss is just another example of black-on-black crime:

Could persistent black fears of racism contribute to lower African-American life expectancy...?


Once again, it is not white racism and discrimination that's the problem: it's black people's reaction to white racism and discrimination, which doesn't even really exist in the first place. Now cheer up and sing us a happy tune, Buck!

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